Episode Transcript  

One

The Second Greatest Commandment

When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, He gave an unequivocal answer: it’s loving God with your whole heart and soul and mind. A lot of times, Jesus didn’t give a straight answer to a straight question, but this time He did. It was a good, clear question, and Jesus gave it a good, clear answer.

But notice this: Jesus wasn’t content to stop with that answer. He had to supply an addendum. Because it’s not enough to know the greatest commandment. You also need to know the second greatest commandment. Because we can’t fulfill the greatest commandment unless we also fulfill the second.

One of the main ways you love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and mind is by loving your neighbor as yourself. So the central question for this meditation is this: how, concretely, practically, do we love the people in our life, especially those who are difficult to love?

Two

Golden Rule

Fortunately, Jesus gave us a very concrete technique for fulfilling the second greatest commandment. It’s the golden rule: treat others as you would like them to treat you. In actual practice, that’s what it means to love your neighbor as yourself: treat them the way you want to be treated.

Pick a person in your life. Preferably a family member, a spouse or parent or child or sibling, someone who is actually in your life. Maybe it’s a difficult person, someone you don’t really like spending time with. Make that person the one you’re going to love better. Treat them the way you like to be treated. Then what we pray about during this Rosary may actually make a concrete difference in the way you follow Christ’s commandment.

Which person will you choose? 

Three

The Attitude We Appreciate from Others

“Treat others as you would like them to treat you.” How do we all wish other people would behave towards us? Well, let’s just start with attitude since that’s kind of the foundation for everything else. What kind of attitude do we all want from others?

We can distinguish the way we want people to relate to our good points and our bad points. When it comes to our good points, we want people to be interested in us. We want people to appreciate us, to admire our good qualities. We want people to notice and acknowledge the efforts we make to do or say the right things. And we want people to be willing to talk about the things we’re invested in and that we think are worthwhile.

We want people to act like they’re lucky we’re in their lives, and when it comes to our bad points, we want people to be patient with us. We want people to give us the benefit of the doubt. We want people, when they’re talking about us to others, to portray us in the best light they can. That’s the attitude we really appreciate from others. That’s how we like people to think and talk about us.

So, that person that you’re going to try to love better: what kind of attitude adjustment do you need to make to fulfill the second greatest commandment towards that person? How can you make your attitude towards them reflect the attitude we all wish other people had towards us?

Four

The Behaviors We Appreciate from Others

It begins with attitude, but the golden rule requires that we do things as well. And here again, there are certain things everybody appreciates from others. We appreciate that others are reliable when we need them. That we can count on them to show up when they say they will, be faithful when they make a vow, and remember to do that thing they asked us to do.

And here’s what we really appreciate, it’s one of the great marks of love: We really appreciate when someone prioritizes what they don’t care about, but what’s important to us. Like if they don’t care at all about tidiness, but they make a point of making the bed, because they know it matters to us. Or if they don’t like traveling, but they take the initiative to go on a trip, because they know we’d like it. If they aren’t interested in fiction, but they read the same book we’re reading so that they can talk about it with us.

That’s one of the greatest heights of following the Golden Rule: It’s not when we simplistically give other people what we appreciate: like a clueless husband who gets his wife a chainsaw for her birthday, because that’s what he’d like for his birthday. We follow the Golden Rule when we deliberately give other people what they appreciate. 

So again, picture that person in your life that you want to love better. What could you do to better give that person not the sort of love and attention that you appreciate, but the sort that he or she appreciates?

Five

What Your Neighbor Should Want – Salvation

The Golden Rule tells us to do to others as we would have them do to us. And what is, actually, the greatest thing our neighbor could do for us? The greatest thing they could do for us would be to help us get into Heaven. The greatest thing they could do for us is to pray for us, offer some sacrifice for us, have edifying conversations with us, and be a good example to us.

So we’ll end with this: that person you’re trying to love better. Can you make a resolution to renew your efforts? Pray for them. Offer some sacrifice for them. Speak to them about something edifying. And try to be a better example.

Of course, that will take a lot of grace. But the Lord knows we are simply trying to obey his commandment, the commandment to love our neighbor as ourselves, and to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. So surely, if we make these resolutions and ask for His grace, He will not refuse it. And we will be better able to love the people in our lives as they ought to be loved. 

Suggested Resolutions:

Choose one resolution for today to help you grow closer to God, or create your own. Here are some ideas to inspire you.

• Think of someone you should be treating better. Pray for them. Offer some sacrifice for them. Speak to them about something edifying. And try to be a better example.

• Reflect on the ways in which you want to be treated and the double standard we set when we expect others to consider our unique needs when we don’t think of theirs.

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