Episode Transcript  

One

Don’t Swear

In the middle of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says, “You have heard it said, ‘Do not swear falsely, but perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’ But I say to you, do not swear at all – neither by heaven, for it is God’s throne, nor by earth, for it is his footstool, neither by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. Neither swear by your own head, for you cannot make a single hair white or black. But let your ‘Yes’ be a plain yes, and your ‘No’ a plain no. Anything else is from the evil one.” (Matthew 5:33-37). 

Jesus tells us there are four things not to swear by: Heaven, Earth, Jerusalem, and our own heads. What do these four things have in common? They all belong to God, not to us. Jesus is teaching us not to speak as though we were God.

Two

Heaven, Earth, Jerusalem and your own head

Jesus is reminding us of a fundamental truth: We are not God. We do not possess His authority. We do not possess His complete knowledge.

Pride often reveals itself first in our speech. Pride makes us opinionated. We speak with certainty about politics, the Church, other people's motives, the future, or the state of the world. We act as though we see the whole picture when we see only a small part. Being opinionated is more than having strong convictions. It is speaking with an authority we do not possess. It is talking as though our opinions were God's knowledge. Every time we speak with certainty about what only God can know, we begin to speak as though we were God.

Ask yourself: Do I speak as though I were God? Am I quick to state my opinions and slow to listen? Is my speech marked by humility or by the need to be right?

Three

Learn before you speak 

Humility in speech begins by admitting: I am not God. None of us sees the whole picture. Each person sees part of reality, and we come to understand it more fully through humble conversation. First, ask questions. Seek to understand before trying to be understood. Second, listen carefully. Listen not to prepare your rebuttal, but to see the matter as the other person sees it. Third, restate their position so fairly that they would say, "Yes, that's exactly what I mean." Only then share your own understanding with humility, remaining open to being questioned and corrected in return.

Conversation is not combat. Its purpose is not to defeat another person but to discover the truth together. As Scripture says, "Iron sharpens iron." When both people seek the truth with humility, both leave seeing more of reality than when they began.

Four

Don’t be Timid either

Humility does not speak as though it were God. Neither does humility hide the truth God has revealed through Christ and His Church, or the wisdom He has taught me through knowledge and experience.

When speaking is for the good of others and the defense of the truth, I should speak. Timidity in speech is remaining silent out of fear when the good of others and the truth require us to speak. This does not mean speaking every truth in every circumstance. Prudence determines whether this is the right time, the right person, and the right way to speak. But when prudence tells us that speaking is for the good of another and the defense of the truth, we should not remain silent out of fear.

Timidity in speech is failing to speak when prudence says we should. A parent who will not correct a child. A spouse who avoids an important conversation. A friend who says nothing as another walks into sin. A Catholic who hides the faith out of fear of ridicule. A coworker who stays silent while another is treated unjustly.

Ask yourself, what is your tendency: to be opinionated or timid?

Five

Meekness in Speech

Jesus said, “Learn from me for I am meek and humble in heart.” So our speech should be both humble and meek. Meekness is best described as a rock jutting out of the ocean. The storm, waves, wind, and rain break upon the rock, but it remains unmoved, undisturbed. We need to practice being undisturbed by what others say.

It is so easy to become angry, offended, or hurt or afraid by what people say that we either react with pride, trying to defend ourselves or the things we love, or with timidity and say nothing. Meekness, being emotionally undisturbed by what other people say, remaining cool and calm and in control of our emotions, enables us to think clearly and say or not say just the right thing.

As a resolution, pick one of these virtues to work on in your speech:

Be humble. Don’t be so opinionated. Learn from other people and when asked, share your insight. That way both of you come to see more facets of reality.

Don’t be timid. Practice courageous speech. When the good of others calls for it, speak up and leave the outcomes in the hands of God.

Practice meekness. Remain calm and undisturbed so that your emotions do not decide your words.

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