Episode Transcript  

One

Human Love is modeled on Divine Love 

The Sixth Commandment, “You shall not commit adultery” (Ex 20:14), is explained in the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 2331–2400). It teaches that many actions, such as sex outside of marriage, adultery, pornography, contraception, homosexual acts, and others, are gravely sinful. But to really understand why, we have to begin with one truth: Love does not use.

1 John 4 tells us, “God is love.” What does this mean? In the Trinity the Father gives a free and total gift of Himself, and in this act, He eternally begets the Son. The Son receives divinity from the Father. And the Father and the Son, together as one principle, give that same perfect gift of divinity to the Holy Spirit, who proceeds from them. 

The love of God, then, is a free and total gift of self, a permanent union of Persons, from whom the third divine Person, the Holy Spirit, proceeds. This is what love is. We are made in the image of God, who is love. So, if human sexual love is to truly be love, it must reflect this same pattern, in a way proper to us: a free and total gift of self, a faithful and permanent union of persons, a gift of self that is open to new life.

The opposite of love is not hate, but use. No one finds happiness in using another person or being used.

Two

Marriage as a Reflection of God’s Love

The Catechism of the Catholic Church (#1604) teaches that God designed marriage to be a reflection, an icon, of His own life and love.

Recall what God’s love is: A free and total gift of self. A faithful and permanent, indissoluble union of persons. A love that is ordered to new life.

These three attributes of God’s love form the foundation of marriage. They are not ideas we invented, they are a participation in the very life of the Trinity. And these same three realities are expressed in every marriage ceremony.

The priest asks, “Have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage? Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives? Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and His Church?” 

The vows of marriage express the love of God so that, by living them, we become like God. And that is the source of true and lasting happiness.

Three

Marital Intercourse is also an Icon of God’s Love 

St. John Paul II taught the God-given meaning of marital intercourse in a series we call the Theology of the Body. There, he explained that God designed sex to be the "body language" that expresses the love of the Trinity. To have marital intercourse is to speak the language of God’s love and one’s marriage vows with our bodies. 

When a couple engages in marital relations, when they have sex or make love, they are saying with their bodies, “I am giving a free and total gift of myself to you. I am giving a permanent, indissoluble gift of self, and this gift is ordered to new life.” But if we don’t mean that and yet we say it, then it is a lie and a lie is use, not love, because it does not imitate the Love of God. 

Four

Sexual Lies

Since God created marriage and marital intercourse to express His love, then all the moral questions surrounding love, marriage, and sex are answered based on who God is. God is a free and total gift of self, a permanent and indissoluble gift of self, and a gift of self that is ordered to new life. Therefore, all sexual morality comes down to this question: Does this action reflect the love of God? In other words, is it a free and total gift of self? Does it express a faithful and permanent union? Is it ordered to new life?

Then it is easy to see that: fornication, adultery, and masturbation are not a total gift of self to another person that expresses a permanent, indissoluble union. Therefore, these do not reflect God’s love. And the opposite of love is use. Divorce does not reflect a permanent, unbreakable union therefore, it does not mirror God’s love. That is why divorce is a grave offense against the love of God. Contraception is not a total gift of self, since one’s fertility is held back. Because it is not a total gift, therefore it is not unitive, and it is not ordered to new life. Thus, contraception does not echo God’s love. 

Furthermore, direct sterilization, in vitro fertilization, artificial insemination, and homosexual acts do not imitate the love of the Trinity.  All these actions are gravely wrong because they are actions that do not reflect the love of God. They are unloving actions, and therefore, use.

Five

Mercy Forgiveness and Healing 

The Sixth Commandment, “You shall not commit adultery” (Ex 20:14), is explained by the Catechism (CCC 2331–2400), which teaches that lust gives rise to many serious sins: fornication, masturbation, adultery, contracepted sex, sterilization for contraceptive purposes, homosexual acts, artificial insemination and in vitro fertilization, pornography, prostitution, divorce and remarriage outside a valid marriage, incest, polygamy, and sexual violence.

These are called gravely sinful not to shame us, but to tell us the truth: these actions do not reflect love; they are forms of use. And it is always beneath our dignity to use another person, or ourselves. But here is what must be said just as clearly: You are not the only one. You are not beyond hope. And you are not rejected by God.

In fact, the vast majority of people have fallen into these sins, often without ever being taught the truth, often encouraged by a culture that calls these things good, normal, or even responsible. Many were never told why these actions harm the soul. Some were even told by trusted voices that they were acceptable. So before anything else, hear this: Jesus is not waiting for you in anger. He is waiting for you in mercy. When the woman caught in adultery was brought before Him, He did not condemn her. He defended her. He protected her dignity. And then He said, “Go, and sin no more” (John 8:11).

That is always His way: Mercy first, then transformation. No matter what your past holds, no matter how many times you’ve fallen, Christ offers you something real: complete forgiveness, interior healing, the restoration of your dignity and the power to begin again. He is waiting for you in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. There, through the priest, Christ Himself meets you. He does not merely overlook your sins, He takes them away. He does not leave you where you are, He begins to remake you.

And even if you feel weak… even if you know the struggle may continue…take the first step. Come back. Because the goal is not perfection overnight. The goal is a restored relationship with God, a relationship where, little by little, He teaches you how to love again. And that is what you were made for.

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