Episode Transcript  

One

The Unmerciful Servant

Obviously, part of the path to holiness means loving your neighbor. And, it should be just as obvious that loving your neighbor begins with not resenting your neighbor. So let’s begin with the Word of God, listening to the story of the Unmerciful Servant.

“The kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who decided to settle accounts with his servants. When he began the accounting, a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount. Since he had no way of paying it back, his master ordered him to be sold, along with his wife, his children, and all his property, in payment of the debt. At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.’ Moved with compassion the master of that servant let him go and forgave him the loan. When that servant had left, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a much smaller amount.* He seized him and started to choke him, demanding, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ Falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’ But he refused. Instead, he had him put in prison until he paid back the debt. Now when his fellow servants saw what had happened, they were deeply disturbed, and went to their master and reported the whole affair. His master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to. Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?’ Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers until he should pay back the whole debt. So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives his brother from his heart.”

Two

Justice to God = Generosity and Mercy towards Neighbor

The first thing to notice about the parable of the unmerciful servant is the way it connects our relationship to God with our relationship to the people around us. Obviously, the king cares about how we treat our fellow servants. But what’s more interesting is this: the way we pay God back what we owe Him is by not worrying too much about what other people owe us.

Isn’t that interesting? The way we give God what He has the right to expect from us is by giving other people more than what they have the right to expect from us. We owe God an infinite debt. It’s a debt we could never pay back. Not in a million years. Not in eternity. So He’s made a deal with us. He’ll let us slide, despite our huge debt, and the countless offenses we’ve committed against Him as long as we let other people off the hook for the much smaller offenses they’ve committed against us.

On the other hand, if we continue to hold people’s failings and weaknesses and sins against them, well, then we’d better watch out. Because we’ll get just as ruthless an audit as we stand before the omniscient, all-powerful king.

So, who are the people we’re tempted to hold their failings or their sins against? Who is it we resent?

Three

Who Do We Hold It Against?

When we realize that God’s forgiveness of us is proportional to our forgiveness of others, it should make us want to do a really careful audit to see who in our lives we still have resentment for. The unmerciful servant actually throttled his fellow-servant. Who is the person we might fantasize about throttling? 

Of course, it could be a public figure. There are plenty of famous, influential people who get on our nerves. But a lot of the time, there are people closer to home as well. It could be a spouse. It could be one of our kids. It could be a parent or a sibling. It could be someone who thinks of us as a friend. But who is that person who, whenever you think of them, you get irritated? Who is that person, where whenever they come up in conversation, you’re tempted to say something negative?

That’s the person we have to work at forgiving. That’s the person where we really have to focus on how to remove our hands from their throats. Because if we can learn to really love them, then we’ll really be on our way to being right with the Lord.

Four

Overcoming Resentment

When we struggle with resentment, it means there’s something wrong with our emotional life. It means that we have bad feelings, ill will towards one of God’s children whom Christ himself died to save. And we should have feelings of benevolence. So how do we change our feelings of ill-will to goodwill?

The two ways we overcome disordered feelings, including resentment, are through thinking and acting. By our thinking, we force ourselves to reflect on all the good points this person has. Also, it usually doesn’t take too much imagination to reflect on all the ways this person’s life has been difficult, and how those struggles they have had to face may have been responsible for them being annoying or hurtful. 

When we consider these truths, how much good there is in another person, and how hard their life has already been, it saps the desire for more harm to come their way. 

Also, by our actions, we can gradually change our feelings through individual acts of the will. This is the “fake it till you make it” strategy. 

In the case of resentment, we have to, first, look for ways to be kind towards the person in question. Second, look for opportunities to speak well of that person to others. And eventually, our feelings will start to catch up to the habitual decisions we’ve been making. 

Five

Resolution

Now it’s time to make a resolution. Making that resolution just means putting the two pieces of our meditation together. First of all, who in our lives are we tempted to resent? Secondly, what can transform our bad habit of resentment, our ill will? We counteract that temptation with actions of goodwill. Thinking well of them, of their good traits, and having mercy on them for the bad ones. By speaking kindly to them, by doing good for them. 

Remember, this is how we pay back the Lord for all He has done for us. It’s the fastest and easiest way to get ourselves off the hook for the damages all our own sins have brought about. So let’s forgive, and forgive thoroughly. Heavenly Father, please fill us with your sanctifying power, and wash away any trace of resentment in our souls. Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, or even annoy us, for whatever reason. 

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