Episode Transcript  

One

Defining Addictions 

Jesus is the Good Shepherd who gives abundant life. The thief who steals and destroys is not only the devil, but also the self-destructive habits that rob us of life. One category of these behaviors that steal and kill and destroy are addictions.

By addictions, we don’t mean only alcohol or drugs. Addictions include habits of turning to something in a disordered way to help us get through life, but slowly destroy us. It could be alcohol, food, work, exercise, constant activity, endless distraction through scrolling on YouTube and Facebook, binge-watching shows or TV, shopping, or pornography. Aquinas is absolutely clear: lust blinds the intellect. If you look at images that induce lust, then you are blinding yourself in every area of life. If you don’t believe this, then you prove the point; you are already blind to the truth.

Addictions are not neutral coping mechanisms. They are slow-motion suicide of the soul. Why do we do this?

Addictions usually arise when something in our life feels too heavy to carry or too empty to endure. We may be dealing with physical pain, loneliness, pressure from work or family, disappointment in marriage or relationships, or a deeper loss of meaning and purpose. Whatever the cause, something in us says, “I can’t stay in this. It’s too much.” 

Addiction is not the pursuit of pleasure; it is the avoidance of pain. Addiction is an attempt to escape from inner pain, overload, or emptiness, an attempt to leave the present moment because it feels unbearable. This escape becomes a habit, and the habit destroys us. 

Can you name one behavior you repeatedly turn to for relief and why you are trying not to face it or stay in it? 

Two

Surrender 

The Catholic Tradition for 2000 years and Alcoholics Anonymous in the last 100 years agree on one foundational truth: we have addictions because we are trying to manage our lives on our own. Even deeply prayerful people can remain trapped in self-reliance, still carrying the weight themselves. 

This is why the first step to healing is surrender to God. Not as a feeling but as a decision. We must say to God, “My life is out of control. I can’t manage this on my own. Jesus, I surrender to you. I give this entirely to you.” 

Surrender does not immediately remove the temptation or pain. It opens the soul to receive God. Christ doesn’t just give us advice, He comes to set us free.  

Three

Step One – Remove Something Bad

If we want to get free from our addictions, three steps need to occur: Something bad should be removed. Something good must be added. Learn to stay in the difficult and even painful things that are the will of God for us so that we grow in love for God, love of others, and human maturity. 

First of all, something bad should be removed. Addictions are often linked to particular situations. Remove the addictive substance from your situation, or you from the situation, and the intensity of the temptation goes way down. This is just the age-old wisdom of removing the near occasion of sin. 

And we must dig deeper, remove the root cause of the desire to escape through addiction: Remove the unrealistic pressure and expectations placed upon you by others or yourself. Remove the constant emotional drain from news and social media. Change overcommitments and schedules that leave no margin. Say no to things that God never asked you to do.

Four

Add Something Good

Because life is about the pursuit of happiness. Happiness comes from the possession of those good things that fulfill the way God designed us. And He designed us to need: A deep relationship with God. Physical goods like good food and drink, sleep, and exercise. Friendship. Meaningful work, which means doing good for people or for the world, paid or volunteer, inside the home or out. Knowledge about God and the good world he created. Beauty in the form of nature, good books, music, art, or some skill you develop.

Create a plan to do each of these things every day, and then your life will be so full of good things you won’t have time for bad things. 

We call this plan to pursue good things a Recipe of Life or Rule of Life. Don’t try to change or add everything at once; just pick one good thing to add and start there. 

Five

Learn to Stay

The last step is to learn to stay in the difficult and even painful things that are the will of God for us. Many of us face things that we feel are totally overwhelming, that we just can’t do it, and we would love some legitimate way to escape from them. But we can’t either because there is no way to change the situation, or we know that God does not want us to escape through sinful actions. 

There are so many examples of difficult work or family responsibilities, difficult marriages, parenting or caring for elderly parents, chronic and very painful health problems, and loneliness. 

If we have prayed for God to change the situation and we have done everything we can to remedy it, and the situation remains then God is allowing it, and He can use it to help us grow in love and reliance on God, love of other people and to grow in maturity as a human person which gives us a greater capacity to receive God.

So we learn to stay and not flee through addiction. To stay is not passive resignation, but an active choice to remain present with God, knowing we are safe with him and continuing to love, rather than escaping or numbing ourselves. And in all of this, we must remember and say to ourselves over and over

Since God is with me and He is allowing this, then it is for some greater good. Therefore, I am safe. If I am safe, then I don’t have to panic. I don’t have to escape. I am ok. I am safe.

Then sit in this for 90 seconds and realize, “I am safe.” Then sit in it for another 90 seconds, “I am safe again.” (Strong emotions biologically peak and fall in about 60–90 seconds if we do not feed them with panic or escape. Staying present allows the body to learn: I am safe.)

Little by little, we gain evidence that we really are safe in this situation that we thought was killing us. And with every moment, every hour, every day, we gain more evidence that with God we are safe and we are growing in maturity, love, and confidence. 

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