Episode Transcript  

One

The Marshmallow Test

You’ve probably heard of the marshmallow test. It’s a psychological experiment where young children are offered one marshmallow now, or, if they wait a short period of time, they can get two marshmallows. It’s a basic experiment in delayed gratification: can the kid forgo pleasure in the short term to get something better in the long run? And obviously, it’s really hard for a little kid to look at a marshmallow there on the table and leave it alone. But, just objectively speaking, if the kid can do it, it’s worth it.

So, in one sense, that’s the question of life: do we want to refrain from self-indulgence now so that we can be happier later on? Can we forgo certain pleasures now, so that we can rest in perfect happiness for all eternity?

Two

Blessed Are Those Who Mourn

One of the Beatitudes of Jesus is, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” At the most basic level, the people who are mourning are the people who would like to have some good thing they don’t have. They’re like the kid squirming as he tries not to eat the marshmallow. He’d like to eat it. It would be nice to eat it. But he’s not going to eat it. Because he knows it’s better not to.

So too, we mourn when things don’t go our way. When we want something we don’t have. Maybe it’s something sinful, something we know we shouldn’t have. Like a guy trying to get over a porn addiction might get antsy and frustrated as he tries to stay clean. Or a mother trying to get over her habit of crankiness may really feel all her complaints towards her kids and husband rising inside her, trying to get out by yelling and criticizing. Or maybe what we want isn’t sinful, it’s just not available. Like we can’t seem to find a job or a spouse. Or we’re suffering from a chronic illness. And it’s getting really, really, frustrating.

What we have to remember in these times is, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” And it’s not just because God is trying to test our self-will. It’s not just that He wants to see whether we’re capable of delayed gratification. It’s because the nature of human existence is that we must choose greater goods over lesser goods.

Three

Lesser Goods or Greater Goods

This life involves a process of what is sometimes called “Soul-Building”. Roughly, that means God wants to make us into people who are more and more capable of greater and greater happiness. In fact, ultimately, that means God wants us to gain the capacity to receive the greatest good, the infinite good, that is Himself. And everything in our experience is directed to expanding our souls, our capacity for God, and perfect happiness.

Sometimes that means we have to avoid certain things altogether, like sin, since sin is precisely what truncates and narrows our capacity for goodness. Sins like lust or crankiness, or resentment. But sometimes it means we can practice delighting in small created goods for a short time, and then we have to let go of them and move on. That might be the good of a job, or health, or the time when we have kids at home, or the time of consummating our marriage.

Those are all goods, but they’re not going to be available to everybody, and they’re not going to be available to anybody forever. And when it’s time to let the good things of this life go, it’s going to be hard. Like it’s hard for a kid to let go of the chance to eat a marshmallow right now. 

But it shouldn’t surprise us. Because the whole point of everything is that there’s a greater good that we’re supposed to be preparing for, and practicing delayed gratification is precisely what gets us ready to receive the infinite delight of God.

Four

What are You Doing to Practice?

Jesus says, “Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” In other words, happy are those who are willing to let go of worldly pleasures, even legitimate worldly pleasures, for the sake of union with God. Their comfort shall vastly outweigh their mourning. Their joy shall vastly outweigh their dissatisfaction and trial now.  

So, what are we doing to practice delayed gratification? What are we doing to show that we don’t need any particular pleasure now? Basically, there are three things we should be doing: cutting out sinful pleasures right away, practicing penance, where we give up legitimate pleasures to develop our will-power and our capacity for delayed gratification, and, most especially, when God allows some good thing to be taken out of our life, accept it with trust that God is preparing you to receive something vastly greater - Him. 

So are we doing that? Are we practicing delayed gratification by resisting temptation, giving things up, and being peaceful and uncomplaining when God removes some created good from our lives? Are we willing to mourn a little now, so that we can be comforted a lot later?

Five

Mourning with Christ

It’s not wrong to desire and delight in earthly goods. And it’s not wrong to sorrow when they’re taken away from us. Jesus wept when Lazarus died. He was sorrowful even to the point of death in the Garden of Gethsemane. He knew that Lazarus would rise from the dead. He knew that He Himself would rise from the dead, and that the triumph of Easter would be worth the suffering of Calvary. But it was still hard.

The Christian life is hard. It’s a life of mourning. It takes a toll on us to try and be detached from earthly pleasures so we can be fit for the joys of Heaven. Jesus wept. Jesus sorrowed. But Jesus never forgot it was all part of the plan, and that it would all be worth it in the end.

So let’s make sure we have the same attitude when we’re dealing with God’s program for delayed gratification. Let’s remember that those who mourn are blessed, for they shall be comforted. Comforted with eternal and unfathomable happiness. 

Suggested Resolutions:

Choose one resolution for today to help you grow closer to God, or create your own. Here are some ideas to inspire you. 

• What do you need to give up now so that you can be happier later on? Try giving it up, just for the week, to practice this kind of patience.

If you enjoyed this meditation, subscribe below.