Episode Transcript  

One

Anchorites vs Cenobites

Today is the Feast of two great friends: St. Basil and St. Gregory Nazianzian. Towards the end of the third century, there was a movement in Christianity, let’s call it a bad social experiment, where Christians, in the effort to escape an immoral culture, began to move out into the desert and live alone. They were called anchorites, one who withdraws to live alone. There are some famous ones like St. Anthony of the Desert. But this was not the plan marked out by the Apostles.

Since we are made in the image of God who is three Persons living in a life-giving community of love, we should live the same way. Our two saints today, Basil and Gregory, developed a deep friendship while they studied together in Athens. Then St. Basil went and visited the anchorites, these Christians who lived alone, and he realized there were some big problems: First, if you live alone, you will probably go crazy. Second, Jesus gave us one commandment: to love one another. But if you live alone, who will you love, who will you serve?

Solitary lives are spiritually deadly lives because it is so easy to live a selfish life when you live alone. You chose everything for yourself. You are never forced out of your own ways. We set up our lives and routines so that everything serves us and we have no one for whom we can sacrifice or serve. Something needed to change.

Two

Solitary Lives are Deadly Lives

St. Basil saw that living alone was a really bad idea because if you live alone, whether you physically live by yourself or if you live with other people but live as if you are alone, it’s really hard to grow in virtue and love. Basil writes, “How will someone show humility, if he has no one in comparison with whom to show himself humble? How will he show compassion, when he is cut off from the community? How can he exercise himself in patience, if no one contradicts his wishes?”

“If someone says he finds the teaching of Holy Scripture (and solitary meditation) sufficient to correct his character, he makes himself like a person who learns the theory of carpentry but never makes anything…”

“The Lord…gives us an example of humility in the perfection of love, when He girded himself and washed the feet of the disciples.”

Then Basil asks a striking question, “If you live alone, whose feet will you wash? Who will you care for? In comparison to whom will you be last if you live as if living by yourself? So, when we live in unity, it is a stadium for athletics, a method for traveling forward, a continual exercise and practice of the Lord’s commandments.”

Three

The Stadium for Spiritual Athletes

I really like the analogy St. Basil uses when he says that living in a family or having a small community of people with whom you share life regularly is like a stadium or gymnasium for exercising virtue. Why is that? Well, when you live with other people or spend lots of time with them, you have lots and lots and lots of opportunities to put aside your selfishness, sacrifice and do good for others. It gives us the opportunity to grow in virtue: humility, patience, compassion, sacrifice, love…

Living as if alone, we do not recognize our lack of virtue, but by interacting with others in an atmosphere of both unconditional and demanding love, we are preserved from our illusions that we are more virtuous than we really are. By sharing our knowledge, experience, and perspectives we all gain a greater grasp on reality which is truth.

No one is self-sufficient. We need one another. By myself, my gifts are useless and my lack becomes unattainable. I must not bury the talent God has given me by living as though I am alone.

Four

Death by Loneliness

Solitary confinement is one of the most inhumane forms of torture because it isolates individuals from human connection, a basic necessity for mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Deprived of social interaction, people experience anxiety, depression, paranoia, and even psychosis. The lack of face-to-face contact with other people can distort perception, erode identity, and cause irreversible damage to the brain. Over time, individuals subjected to isolation often lose hope and a sense of self, leading to profound despair.

Tragically, much of American culture has created self-imposed isolation. Many people live alone, work alone, and spend most of their time interacting with screens instead of others. Families are fragmented, neighborhoods lack meaningful connections, and technology replaces real relationships. We commute in cars instead of walking among neighbors, and even within households, screens dominate attention, making genuine interaction rare.

We were not designed to live in loneliness. We are made in the image of God who is three Persons living in a community of love, yet we’ve built a society that undermines our very design.

Five

Community is the answer

Living a solitary lonely life is deadly, spiritually, psychologically, and even physically. The answer is very simple, we all need a small group of family and friends with whom we share life and share faith. If you live with others, the first step is to drill it into your mind and heart that what Jesus wants, above all, is for us to build a deep friendship with Him through prayer and then to build deep friendships with each other, most especially the people we live with. It’s really just about friendship with Jesus and friendship with others. And what does friendship take? It takes time sharing life together.

If you don’t live with someone, then you need to take the initiative to spend time with people regularly. A Rosary Group can be a good place to start. It’s a great way to pray together, have good conversation about God and the most important things in life, to begin to grow in spiritual friendship.

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