Episode Transcript  

One

Anger

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, "You have heard that it was said to your ancestors, ‘You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment.”

How should we understand this, and what does Jesus expect us to live? Anger is not bad. Anger is a God-given emotion, an energy that prompts us, helps us to achieve something difficult, correct some evil, or endure something we can’t change without giving in to despair. Anger is meant to be constructive. It gives us the energy to correct an evil we can change or endure an evil we cannot change.  

Anger becomes sinful when it becomes destructive. When we blow up, curse, yell at our kids, say and do very hurtful things. When we waste energy on people or things we can’t change or have no control over.

Why do we become so angry?

Two

Why do we become angry?

Anger is a natural emotional response to what we think is evil or some injustice. So, why do we get angry? Usually for one of five reasons. First, there is good anger that springs from a love of justice. We become angry because innocent people are harmed, the weak are exploited, or God or Our Lady were dishonored. Jesus was angry but did not sin because He used His anger constructively, to correct an evil rather than destructively to harm others.

Then there is sinful anger. It arises when our pride or ego is threatened or wounded. Someone insults us, ignores us, disrespects us, questions our intelligence or authority, embarrasses us, or doesn’t appreciate us. What was threatened was not justice but my ego.

Humility reminds us that our identity and worth come from God, not from what other people think, say, or do. Once we no longer need to defend our ego, anger loses much of its power. We get angry when something we wanted has been blocked or denied us. It might be success, control, recognition, comfort, pleasure, or simply peace and quiet.

I used to get angry at my kids when I was exhausted and just wanted a nap, and they wanted my attention. The problem wasn't that they wanted my attention. The problem was that I wasn't willing to let go of what I wanted in order to love them.

Often, we get angry because we are afraid. We fear losing something we love, our reputation, control, security, or someone we care about, and anger rises to protect it. And we get angry when we have been hurt. When someone betrayed, ignored, or rejected us.

So whenever you become angry, ask, "Why am I angry?" The answer will tell you what to do. It will reveal whether you need humility, detachment, trust, forgiveness, or the courage to correct an evil.

Three

Meekness is the solution to sinful anger

If we have trouble with anger, then we need the virtue of meekness. But meekness is not weakness. Meekness is the calm strength that directs anger toward the good. Aristotle describes meekness as the virtue that lies in the middle of two sinful extremes: excessive anger and apathy/indifference.

Meekness is the virtue of rightly ordered anger. Scripture says Moses was the most humble and meek man on the face of the earth. But he was no wimp. In Exodus chapter 14, the Israelites escaped Egypt. Now they were backed up against the Red Sea with the enraged Egyptian army bearing down on them to slaughter them. In that moment, all the people of Israel lost their heads, and they cursed Moses, saying, “This is your fault. It would have been better to be slaves in Egypt than to be killed in the wilderness.”

But Moses kept his head. He kept so calm that he could hear the voice of the Lord telling him what to do. “Moses, raise your staff, and the water will part, and after you walk through I will drown your enemies.”

Now imagine Moses also lost his head. Well, then the Old Testament would be very short, wouldn’t it? That is meekness. Keeping your head so you can listen to God and respond in a way that saves lives and not destroy them. 

Four

Practicing Meekness

Meekness is a virtue, a good habit. And habits are built through repeated practice. If we want to become meek, then when we begin to become angry, we need to practice three things: Stop. Don’t react. Think, “Why am I angry? What outcome do I want? What can I actually do?” Then, respond. Choose the response that achieves the good goal.

Five

Practice in Little Things

Practice meekness in little, everyday annoyances. If you learn to govern your anger in small things, you'll be prepared to govern it in great ones. Practice meekness, the calm strength that directs anger toward the good in little unimportant things, inconsequential things, like traffic, when you're stuck in line, little annoyances and interruptions. That is the training ground.

As a resolution, today, when anger comes, and it will stop, think, and respond with the calm strength of meekness. Then your anger will no longer destroy. It will become a force for love, justice, and peace.

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